I am in Control

I often wish I were quick-witted. I wish I knew what to say the very moment it needed to be said. For instance, the other night in an elevator a preteen was standing across from me, noticed something weird about my face, and ran over to her friend to whisper in her ear. Her friend then ran over to stand across from me to stare. I thought to myself: are you serious right now? I need to say something. But all I could blurt out was a very quick "I know you're looking at me!" I wish I had said something stronger. Not spiteful nor malicious, just more impactful. Why say anything you ask? Because if someone is going to be that obvious about my face, I'm going ...

A Letter to My Mockers

To the two boys in The Fresh Market yesterday who pointed and snickered at me: I was too taken aback to confront you in the moment, but since I’ve had the time to process your asinine behavior, I have something I’d like to say to you. Grow the f--- up. You were only about 12 or 13 years old but that doesn’t excuse your behavior. You are never too young (or too old0 to be respectful of someone’s differences. I’ve dealt with my fair share of stares and lingering gazes over the years; I’ve heard the questions kids asked their parents about me; I’ve seen kids point in my direction to show their siblings or friends. But never in my 33 years have I witnessed and knew with ...

‘Cause it makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder

I finally understand the anxiety behind releasing a second album or a movie sequel. Expectations soar and you’re left wondering how you’re going to compete with your initial success, not that my last blog post was “initial.” I posted 57 essays prior to that one game-changing post. The others were meaningless compared to the brutal honesty I shared a couple weeks ago, and since I wrote that, I don’t want to return to writing fluff. I enjoyed baring my soul, but I wonder how much soul is left to bare? How can I top it? There’s my issue: I’m entirely too competitive for my own good. I always search for ways to improve. I can’t face that life isn’t a steady climb upwards. It’s a rollercoaster ...

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