A new year means it’s time to be…selfish.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. There’s nothing like starting off a brand new year with a cliché, which is what I’m sure most of you are doing today (hello New Year’s resolutions!). Like many of you, I often quickly forget about these resolutions around, eh, January 2nd.  Instead of setting myself up for obvious failure, I’m opting to set a motto for 2016. 2016 - the year of me This is my chance to be absolutely, shamelessly selfish and focus first and foremost on myself. I grew tremendously in the last twelve months, but I’m eager to push my own personal boundaries even further. By focusing on myself, I make reaching my goals a priority. This will raise the quality of ...

Now it’s time to say good-bye (to 2015)

I find the passage of time mesmerizing yet astounding.  How could another year possibly have come and gone?  It seems like two weeks ago I was lying on my air mattress watching a New Year’s Day SVU marathon.  How did 365 days pass without my acknowledgment or acceptance?  I’m now another year older and, for the first time in a long time, another year wiser. If you’re anything like me, you are spending the final hours of 2015 reflecting on the last twelve months.  I’ve heard numerous people remark about what a terrible year it has been and that they’re happy to turn the page to a clean slate.  For me, 2015 has been the most satisfying year I have lived since I graduated college over ...

Santa, all I want this year

Every December for as long as I can remember, I’ve asked Santa (yes, I still believe) for one thing: love. This year, I’m switching it up and wishing for something a bit more substantial. Not that a boyfriend for Christmas would be a horrible gift to find under my tree, but peace on earth seems like a gift that would keep on giving. I can forfeit my adolescent wish of Mr. Dreamy for one year. And since I have a track record for never receiving that present in all the years I’ve asked, I figured maybe I should try requesting something else for once. Last week I watched a youth choir sing Let There Be Peace On Earth during the lighting of the Rockefeller Center Christmas ...

Ten things I’d tell the “me” from ten years ago

Soon I’ll board a plane bound for Boston and spend the weekend “roughing” it in a college dorm. A twin bed, no air conditioning, and shared bathrooms? It’s like the adult version of summer camp and I couldn’t be more excited. When I graduated from college ten years ago, I never imagined the time would fly as quickly as it has. Many of my friends are married, starting families, and eagerly marching into the next phases of their lives. They’ve been doing so for quite some time. I, on the other hand, am a completely different story. I’m still single, never want kids, and have trudged begrudgingly through the swamp known as life. The real world has definitely kicked my ass more than I thought it ...

Confronting My Reality – Part 2

If you haven’t already, read Part 1 of this essay for a little bit of background.   A few months ago, I found myself in another predicament of choosing whether to confront my reality or to ignore it. A friend suggested I read a best-selling book about a boy with an extreme craniofacial abnormality. She had been reading it with her students and thought I would appreciate the message, as it is similar to my own. I once again skirted around the idea of celebrating someone else’s uniqueness because I didn’t want to be reminded of mine. Was I worried I would have nothing in common with the main character? Or was I afraid of the similarities?   I finally decided to concede. The book is Wonder written by ...

Confronting My Reality – Part 1

I’ve never been one to confront my uneasiness with a head-on crash; I’d rather cautiously navigate around my feelings without leaving an emotional wreck in my wake. Believe me when I say my stoicism runs deeper than just the mask you see. With a heavy dose of irony I tell you that as vocal as I am about celebrating one’s uniqueness, there are times I avoid mine at all cost. If I’m urged to share the stage with others who hold similar life experiences, I momentarily lose interest in being a gladiator for self-acceptance. It becomes both a reminder that far too many of us share similar struggles and a realization that my hardships pale in comparison to others in paralleled circumstances. For example, the severity ...

I hold the lock and you hold the key.

“The only thing constant in life is change” - François de La Rochefoucauld.  Oh François, how right you are. I'm all about change! Exhibit A... Welcome to Diary of a Beautiful Disaster, the new home of my deepest thoughts. As my blog entries (on 365krisbits) began to evolve into something more meaningful, I decided I needed a home better suited for those emotions. I wanted to create a digital diary where readers understood they were about to read something with substance. I had a specific direction for my future posts and didn’t want them intermingling with previous “fluff.” And I wanted a new blog title to capture the true nature of this labor of love. I’m not a very vocal person. My aspirations, my emotions, and my fears remain ...

Caught in the in-between, a Beautiful Disaster

This will be the most raw and vulnerable you’ll ever find me. It is also one of the hardest truths I will ever write. I don’t speak of it often but it controls my life more than I care to admit. I’ve tried many times to express this but I guess I wasn’t quite ready to let the world know the deepest part of me. It only makes me a sliver of who I am yet sometimes I feel it controls the reins. Many would call me hard or stoic. I would concur. I’ve worked tirelessly over the years to learn how not to cry, to build a wall around my emotions, and to never expose my heart. It comes with the territory. I’m my own ...

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